"We believe most strongly," opened one. "that Moses, the son of Our Lord died for the sins of Man."
The defence lawyer requested a brief adjornment at this point which was granted by the Judge by default since he was not present.
"We believe most strongly," the defendant continued when the case was restarted. "that Jesus, the Son of Our Lord died for the sins of Man."
"And further," interjected the other. "we believe that it is only through the love of Him that we can reach Valhalla in the next life."
A further request for an adjournment was declined by the Judge, who had now arrived and was objecting to the fact that the case had started an hour early without himself, the prosecution or the jury being present. Later, when they had all assembled, the prosecution asked the defendants to justify the fact that they could not account for any of the donations that had been given to them over the last five years.
The defendants claimed to be delusional amnesiacs and produced a note from their doctor which was examined by the Court. The prosecution asked that the doctor be brought to the Court to testify in person but the defendants objected on the grounds that they had forgotten where the surgery was located. When the prosecution asked them to justify why a proffesional medical practice distributed notes to a Court in handwriting on the back of a supermarket receipt, the defendants cited failing standards in the NHS and the crippling underfunding by the Government.
The Judge called for an adjornment at this point on the grounds that he needed to do some reading up on maximum sentancing laws related to the alleged crimes and the Court was formally closed for the day.
As they left, the defendants were seen to be conferring with their lawyer for a couple of moments before one shouted -
"Sorry, I meant the Kingdom of Heaven."
The case continues.
